I may be struggling to find true north in this land of uncertainty, ambiguity, and doubt, but the bride’s unmistakable glare upon seeing me—a clearly unwelcome and uninvited American Imperialist with a camera in her hands—proudly earned the first spot on my “Shit I Think Might Be Real” list. Followed second by the wedding reception… I think.

Descending into the Pyongyang Metro, reportedly one of the deepest metros in the world. Rumors persist that the Pyongyang Metro doubles as giant bomb shelter, linking vast underground military installations to one another, with secret lines just for the government, and escape tunnels to China. Rumors also persist that “normal” people actually use it.

The boom-box ghetto inside the audio/video room at the Grand People's Study House, where I was forced to listen to a bootleg Madonna CD as proof NoKo owns all the music in the world.

It’s a flashmob, NoKo style. When I arrived nearly anywhere in Noko—here at one of Pyongyang’s Funfairs (NoKo’s extraordinarily depressing amusement parks)—no one would be there. But within minutes of arriving, a HUGE swarm of people of people would arrive walking in lockstep four or five people across. The Arch de Triumph can be seen in the background, as can the Ryugyong Hotel.

Supposedly a English class already in session at the Kim Jong-suk High School in Pyongsong. A British tourist, who was also there and happened to be—no joke—an English teacher, was stumped by the lesson on the board. A closer look at what was written reveals why.

Non General and his friends pose for a photo in South Korea.

Typical occurrence: You arrive anyplace in NoKo; no one is there. Suddenly a swarm of people dressed in decades-old clothing arrives, organized in close formation, five or six people across, and as many deep, walking in lockstep. When I’d ask Older Handler why, she’d deny it was happening, even as we stood watching it. The infamous, pyramid-shaped Ryugyong Hotel can be seen in the background.

An accordion class at the Kaesong Childrens’ Palace, aka, extracurricular activity jail, where children are assigned activity or skill in the same way they will be assigned a job later in life. He’ll be a singer, she’ll play the accordion, and they will practice every single day of their lives.

Local guides and ladies pay respect to the Cult of Kim at The Mansudae Grand Monument in Pyongyang.

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